No, not in one sitting.

In fact, it took me several months. I tend to watch in 20-30 minute increments while eating my meals.

But, I finally got around to watching all of them in order. I had seen a few here and there. Mostly all of the Connery ones, then the early Pierce Brosnan. And then maybe one Daniel Craig one, but I don’t even remember if it was the first or second one. So, now that I have completed all of them in order, some quick thoughts.

First, that theme song riff still slaps. An all-time standard. All versions. As for movie themes, I still give my thumbs up to the Jack White/Alicia Keys duet of Another Way To Die the nod for favorite. Am I writing this while listening to a playlist collection of the theme songs? Yes, yes I am.

Cheese.

Yes, many of the Bond movies were cheesy. Plot? Cheesy. Lines? Cheesy. Gimmicks? Cheesy. Well, like i told my nutritionist, you will pry cheese from my cold, dead hands. They grew gradually less cheesy, to the point where I would say the Craig years had virtually none. They were as straight laced action as you could get.

The Actors

Everyone wants to rank Bond actors. Sean Connery is the gold standard of course, even if he was working in the cheesiest era with the least amount of tech/CGI. He set the bar for “smoothness”. Connery and Brosnan were the two who made you believe the most they could save their world with their magic dicks. They are 1A and 1B in the debonair and charm category. Craig was the most believe as someone you would not actually want to meet in a UFC cage, at least in the early years. Moore was adequate, although by the end of his run, all I could see was British James Garner. Dalton and Lazenby really did not get a chance to do much with their short runs.

The Movies

Yes, Goldfinger and Dr. No hold up well. From Russia With Love is probably the highest ranked one (#2 on Rotten Tomatoes) I would drop down my rankings. Craig’s movies get a boost because they were treated as a congruent story with character and relationship development. Even through he Brosnan years, the Bond movies were mostly treated as “that concludes this adventure, until next time…” type movies. The Craig Quad carries the most weight in storytelling.

The Girls

I’m 45 years old. I’m guessing the generation ahead of me collectively hit puberty at the same moment in time, the moment Ursula Andress stepped out of the water in Dr. No. Thus began a long tradition. My personal favorites were Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) and Madeleine Swann (Lea Seydoux). Lin because she was the most badass and Swann probably because she got to do the most emotional work of any of the Bond Girls. Elektra King (Sophie Marceau) gets bonus points for being a rare female big bad in the series. I have seen lists that have Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) rated high. I just don’t get that one. Same with Pussy Galore. Tatiana Romanova is probably underrated by said lists.

The Bad

Almost none of the Bond movies are bad. Yeah, some are better than others. The later Moore movies were caught in between eras. Dalton’s stuff was the start of the Explosion Era (known to some as the Bay Era), but not to the point it could benefit from it for the most part.

Then there is Casino Royale. No, not the 2006 Daniel Craig version. No, I’m talking about the original (1967), which was suppose to be a parody, but could not even pull that off. It was awful. It gets a paltry 26 rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I would argue that is too high. This movie will make you want to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. Don’t believe me? Read the words of Roger Ebert.

The Next Bond

There has been speculation for years on who would be the next to play James Bond. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, James Norton, Henry Cavill lead the odds rankings. He has apparently said he is not in the running, but I still want to see Idris Elba get a run at the gig. If they want to go the female route, I’d watch a Florence Pugh run as Jessica Bond or whatever they want to call her.