Our Fourth Anniversary

Today is Sarah and I’s fourth anniversary of our wedding. Four years won’t seem long to a lot of people, but to someone who had convinced himself that day would never come, he wasn’t worthy anyway, or even believe in the concept, I’m all for celebrating each day now, no matter if they are the first, the 1460th or the whatever.

I’ve long struggled with self-doubt and feeling worthy of most things, covered up nicely with a hefty dose of false bravado and easy-goingness. I’m still pretty sure she deserves better, but I’ll be damned if I’m not trying to be that better she deserves.

Part of that betterment is actually getting more organized with my life. Part of that organization is daily to-do lists and habits. Part of that list is Rate 5 Songs A Day. It’s a mental and emotional exercise for me, often cathartic, inspirational or just worth a distraction for a bit.

Today’s first song on my list was another Zach Bryan tune as i continue to work my way through that 34-track opus. It was Sun To Me. Zach wrote this song on my behalf for Sarah. He just didn’t know it at the time. Zach’s best songs are the one where he struggles with worthiness as well. They are about me, I swear. I still bawl every time I hear A Boy Like You. As Steve Earle says, all the best songs are about you.

Sarah, you grow flowers in the darkest parts of me. I love you and happy anniversary.

5:34 a.m., I was about to start my day
But she layin’ there across me, so I stayed anyway
Arms tied, legs numb, wrapped around my knee
Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you’re the sun to me

I don’t recall what you were wearin’ on the first night we met
Besides the subtle cloud around you from my last cigarette
And you come from a good place with a happy family
The only bad you’ve ever done was to see the good in me

But I’ve been livin’, waitin’ on the day
That the good Lord willin’, send you out my way
I’ve seen hard timеs, bad luck, all that in-between
Sweetest of the sunflowеrs, yeah, you’re the sun to me

And I remember being younger and my mother told me the truth
Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you
Take heed when things get hard and don’t you ever turn around
You’ll find someone, someday, somewhere that grows you to the clouds

And you walked me home that evenin’ when I could barely walk
And you spoke to me so sweetly on the days I couldn’t talk
And now I’m seein’ clearly and I’m growin’ up so free
Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you’re the sun to me

I’ve been livin’, waitin’ on the day
That the good Lord willin’, send you out my way
I’ve seen hard times, bad luck, all that in-between
Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you’re the sun to me
Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you’re the sun to me

One thought on “Our Fourth Anniversary

  1. Happy Anniversary! I’m happy to share my birthday with the two of you. I hope your day is wonderful and you have many more blessings as you grow together.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s